What We Forget

When someone asks us a question about diapering or feeding or bedtime routines or whatever what we forget to preclude our answer with is this, "What works for our family is..."

So many times we all give our version of what works for us as the gospel. It's the be all, end all. And it is the only way.

I've been asked so many times by other new moms (most newer than me) lately about how I got Shelby to sleep through the night or which pediatrician I chose and why or when did we decide to start Shelby on solid food, that I often start my response by asking a question in return, "What have you tried to get Sarah to sleep?" "What pediatricians have you interviewed?" "What is most important to you in a doctor?" "Is your baby bottle fed or breast fed?" "Are you already supplementing or introducing cereal?"

I feel so bombarded by other mothers who in their infinite wisdom preach to me about how things should be done, that I hesitate to ever give advice when asked. For our family, parenting has been mostly about trial and error. We read the books, listen to everyone's multiple tips, and try things until something works. But most parents are too afraid to do this. They are afraid of offending someone whose advice they think is lunacy. They are afraid to trust their instincts. They are afraid to make mistakes. I don't have time for worrying that my way of bathing my daughter or what time I feed her offends someone. I'm way too busy being her mom.

And lately I've been too busy to listen to all the free advice that acquaintances, friends and complete strangers have been doling out. When a woman told me it was pure lunacy that taking the bottle away (as I was purchasing sippy cups), I responded, "Thank you, and I'm sorry I didn't catch your name, Dr?" She quickly backed off. I wasn't rude, I just pointed out she didn't need to be examining the contents of my grocery cart so closely. (Her three children were tearing boxes of cereal off the shelves and opening them while she was chastising me.) Maybe she let her kids drink from a bottle until they were two, great for her. But in our house, we're doing it cold turkey. We need to also remember not to dole out unsolicited advice.

For the record:
1) We got Shelby to sleep through the night through the often talked about but rarely used method of ferberizing.
2) We chose our first pediatrician after I had interviewed one of the doctors and he told me that he believed that parents know their children best. We chose our second pediatrician after the first practice, it quickly became apparent, was in the business of making money and being a business, rather than taking care of kids. The second practice had sick hours and more flexible scheduling for well child visits. That was in addition to their philosophy of parents know their children best!
3) We started Shelby on cereal at five months. She was exclusively breast fed to that point and we only introduced cereal because breast milk alone was not satisfying her. We started her on solids at six as that was a consensus age from the pediatrician and the books we had read and she had almost 4 teeth, so we figured she could handle it!

Mama Mia

No one ever told me how wonderful it is to nearly collapse into bed with your husband, almost one-year-old and baby almost seven months cooked and fall asleep exhausted.

All For Love

Last year, after Shelby was born, we bought her a blanket especially for daycare. It is a thermal waffle blanket with a pink silk edge. My brothers and I all had ones like it when we were infants. A few months later, seeing as how she loves her blanket at daycare, I went back to the major department store I purchased it from (for about $15) and they no longer carried this design of blanket. I checked other major department stores. I even had a friend check Wal-Mart. No luck. Shelby now sleeps with this blanket at home and at daycare. Only one time did it have to be left at daycare (when she spit up on it about 15 minutes before I came to pick her up and it was in the laundry). Twice now, it has been forgotton at home.

I still sleep with a special blanket, so I'm not about to let her go without. So today, I bit the bullet and went to e-bay. I paid (including shipping) about $45 for another one. That's 3x what the original cost.

Now I have a real dilemma though, this retailer at ebay has blue blankets of the same design. I decided against a purchase today. I will show Jeff when he gets home. If Shelby didn't love hers so much this would be so much easier. But how can I deny her brother something like this? I know he can have other blankets. But we tried other blankets and she never took to them, what happens if he's the same?

So I have a Question

I bought a maternity bathing suit today. The first one I've ever owned. Yes I was pregnant last summer, but I was only pregnant for a month of it, so I couldn't justify the cost. Being that I am going to be pregnant the whole hot summer long and we have an almost one-year-old who is going into the water this year, I decided to go for one.

It fits well and the thing with bathing suits is that the do a bit of stretching, but by the tail end of the summer, my belly might show a bit under it. I really don't care. After all, people go out on the beach all the time in all manner of bathing suits that they shouldn't. I've seen way too many women's bellies that were bigger than mine that were not pregnant. And a man, any man, in a speedo is obscene (there really is no fashion mistake a woman could make that would EVER rival the speedo).

So, here's my question, if a tiny bit of my pregnant belly is showing under this suit by the end of summer, am I now indecent?

Father's Day 2007

For Father's Day this year, Shelby and her brother each got their Daddy a card. Shelby's had a crown for Daddy. Her brother's had a picture of a St Bernard. We made Daddy bacon and eggs for breakfast (well, Mommy made those, Shelby supervised). Shelby gave Daddy a hand print and foot print in a frame. She was very good about sticking her hand and foot on the ink pad. Then we took Daddy out for dinner at McDonald's (his choice). Where Shelby and Daddy fought over how much food she could put in her mouth at one time. (She thought she should be able to put more in than Daddy was letting her, then she got mad when he separated her from her food and tried to move his arm out of the way.) We were tired at the end of the day, but very happy to have had a great father's day!

The Next Entry

11 Things That Are Fun To Do When You Are 11 Months Old
By Shelby Clare Herrett

1) Walk- this beats crawling and just standing by a long shot. I’m not quite walking yet, my best friend London is though and we are working on it!
2) Eat real food- the best is chicken!
3) Read books- my favorite is The Very Hungry Caterpillar by Eric Carle. It is also President Bush’s favorite. President Bush and I have the same birthday too.
4) Talk- my favorite word is “mama” but I use it to call my mama and daddy. But people talk back to you! London and I talk to each other in our cribs at daycare.
5) Love on dogs- sometimes Charlie will let me pet his paws. They are very soft. Gilligan let me lie on him one time and pet him.
6) Laughing- grown-ups, dogs and lots of things are funny and when you laugh it makes people smile.
7) Going to the beach- especially on a rainy day cause there are lots of shells to look at and surfers in the water.
8) Taking a bath- splashing is fun.
9) Talk to your brother- if he is inside your mama’s belly you can put your face real close and talk and sing. Sometimes he kicks and your mama lets you put your hand on her belly and feel it.
10) Make a spectacle of yourself- you can do this whenever your mama or daddy takes you out in public by yelling, singing, laughing and trying to make the shopping cart move. People say things like that you are so cute.
11) Making friends- other babies are a good place to start. London is one week older than me and we love to play at daycare. I am making other friends too like Connor, who is two months younger than me. Friends are very nice to you when you are having a bad day or not feeling well. They also laugh at all of your jokes.

Smiling

I got an email recently from one of Shelby's grandmothers saying that Shelby needs to smile more in her pictures. Being that this grandmother is on Shelby's Daddy's side of the family, I decided to show it to him.

His response: She's a good one to talk about smiling in pictures!

Shelby smiles, A LOT! Not always for the camera, but when a dog does something that she finds funny, when she sees something on tv that interests her and when she sees her Daddy. And to be honest, when you look at pictures of Shelby's Daddy and his mother, they don't smile. I try, but my face is crooked, so sometimes my smile looks a little off or like I am wincing. And when you think about it, smiling on cue is usually very fake anyhow. So, I didn't take this personally. The best smiles are live in person anyhow.