Don't Give Up

Joey is crawling. And boy is he fast. He has to be. He has a big sister who can walk to keep up with.

Often times I let Joey crawl behind us without picking him up. Sometimes, this frustrates him. So we encourage him. We tell him not to give up. He smiles his two-toothed grin and pushes forward. Harder, faster and with more determination than ever to catch us.

It is so easy for him not to give up because he knows he will acheive his goals. If only the rest of life were like this. Often at work, I am tempted to sack it all. I might never get to the next level. I could possibly not get a raise despite my best work and gritty determination to get people to pay their bills. And then there are the days I feel like I should just stop cleaning my floors because in five minutes a dog covered in dirt will walk across them. I can't ever enjoy them clean. There are a thousand little examples every day that each of us face when we feel like giving up might be preferable because we can't see the tangible results. The tunnel is long and dark. There is a light at the end, but we're too far back to see it.

I remember as a youth leader in my church's youth group confronting this wall of defeatism from another youth leader. We were on our beginning year's retreat for adult and student leaders and he was obstinate that our work was not as impactful as we thought. He could not see how his testament to God and his faith could ever inspire another teenager and possibly a teenage questioning his or her faith. I remember saying to him all we could do was pray and remember that nothing was ever impossible with God. I never considered giving up just because I might never know if my testimony would inspire someone else to believe. Oddly enough, this young man was one who many felt had the type of faith that would move mountains, and now he wanted to throw it all away. Because he felt he should experience a payoff. I realized then that he was facing Satan down and losing. And my only weapon was to pray.

When I look at little Joey and I tell him not to give up, I say a little prayer that his and Shelby's hearts will always tell them never to give up what is good and right when I am not there to tell them. Because when it comes right down to it, when we give up and begin living a life of compliance to what the world teaches, we are giving in to those forces that work against God. God will never give up on us. We should be so blessed as to never give up on Him.

Kvetching

So, last night, Jeff wanted to go get doughnuts. Really wanted some doughnuts. Britt's Doughnuts. They are only at Carolina Beach, they only come in glazed and they have been voted the second best doughnuts in the whole US. Problem is they are closed at night.

This morning, Jeff was sick. Really sick. Stomach problems both ends sick. He thinks it is rotavirus. Our kids have been immunized and he's not around any other kids. Could be food poisoining, but it doesn't seem that bad. I think it's just a nasty virus. He got up and went to work. Two hours later, he was back home. No one wants a sick chef!

And he's still kvetching for doughnuts. Kvetching and vomiting. Now there's a pleasant thought for me....

To a Daddy

To Jeff (Shelby and Joey's Daddy):
Today we celebrate that you chose one of life's noblest occupations: to raise two wonderful children. You took on the gift of God to nurture these two little souls, to teach them right from wrong, to raise them to be compassionate human beings, and show them that where there is love there is God. Thanks to you, Shelby is a curious little girl and Joey's blue eyes are always smiling. Today we thank God you are our Daddy!
Love,
Kristen, Shelby and Joey

Amazing

Baby Jayla, it hardly seems like 2 whole years since your mama send me this picture. What a beautiful girl you were and are. I was so jealous, I knew I had a whole month to wait, but I was so happy too to know my baby (later we would know she was Shelby) already had a best friend! Love you baby Jay!

Letting Go

Have you ever ended a relationship of any kind, thought you were done with the emotional baggage, only to have a person turn back up in your life saying they were wrong and want to start over? Only problem is you have already started over?

A co-worker of mine came to me with this dilemma last week. Her husband left and filed for divorce when her son was only six-months-old. So, she moved on, moved to NC and now her son is five. She hasn't been in a romantic relationship since (too busy being a single mom) but has made a good new life for herself. She has a good job, no car payment, and lots of new friends. Last week, the ex-husband called. She hadn't heard from him in over 2 years and stopped receiving her child support before that (she didn't feel it was worth the time to fight). And now he wants back in. He wants to be a dad to his son,which I commend, and wants to give their relationship another chance (after five years) but wants them to pick up and move back home. And my friend, doesn't want to do that. Her son has lots of friends and is well adjusted. She made her move to NC when he was close to two and it was traumatic for him. She made it clear she wants no further romantic relationship between the two of them, but she feels like her son would benefit from having a dad.

I had no advice for her. I've never been in her situation. The closest would be friends I had whose lives suddenly took a turn onto a road I didn't care to venture on, so I quietly ended the friendship. The few who decided that road wasn't for them, I cautiously welcomed back into my life, but our friendship would never be as strong as it once was. I believe in forgiveness, but forgetting is not always an option.

When you've come to the foregone conclusion that letting go is the best thing to do, it rattles your world when the other party wants a fresh start. And how do you make a fresh start because the history cannot be erased, it has always been there. And to be honest, there were a few friends, I didn't welcome back. I explained that our lives had changed in the time apart and that was for the best and now it was time we enjoyed our new lives, separately. But to have the emotional attachment of a child and have that child's feelings involved is something else altogether.

So, S, I'm sorry, as a good friend, I will have to say, I can't help you on this one with advice, but I will pray for your heart to be guided. And hopefully there will be a meeting of the minds that will be best for everyone.