So I have a Question

I bought a maternity bathing suit today. The first one I've ever owned. Yes I was pregnant last summer, but I was only pregnant for a month of it, so I couldn't justify the cost. Being that I am going to be pregnant the whole hot summer long and we have an almost one-year-old who is going into the water this year, I decided to go for one.

It fits well and the thing with bathing suits is that the do a bit of stretching, but by the tail end of the summer, my belly might show a bit under it. I really don't care. After all, people go out on the beach all the time in all manner of bathing suits that they shouldn't. I've seen way too many women's bellies that were bigger than mine that were not pregnant. And a man, any man, in a speedo is obscene (there really is no fashion mistake a woman could make that would EVER rival the speedo).

So, here's my question, if a tiny bit of my pregnant belly is showing under this suit by the end of summer, am I now indecent?

Father's Day 2007

For Father's Day this year, Shelby and her brother each got their Daddy a card. Shelby's had a crown for Daddy. Her brother's had a picture of a St Bernard. We made Daddy bacon and eggs for breakfast (well, Mommy made those, Shelby supervised). Shelby gave Daddy a hand print and foot print in a frame. She was very good about sticking her hand and foot on the ink pad. Then we took Daddy out for dinner at McDonald's (his choice). Where Shelby and Daddy fought over how much food she could put in her mouth at one time. (She thought she should be able to put more in than Daddy was letting her, then she got mad when he separated her from her food and tried to move his arm out of the way.) We were tired at the end of the day, but very happy to have had a great father's day!

The Next Entry

11 Things That Are Fun To Do When You Are 11 Months Old
By Shelby Clare Herrett

1) Walk- this beats crawling and just standing by a long shot. I’m not quite walking yet, my best friend London is though and we are working on it!
2) Eat real food- the best is chicken!
3) Read books- my favorite is The Very Hungry Caterpillar by Eric Carle. It is also President Bush’s favorite. President Bush and I have the same birthday too.
4) Talk- my favorite word is “mama” but I use it to call my mama and daddy. But people talk back to you! London and I talk to each other in our cribs at daycare.
5) Love on dogs- sometimes Charlie will let me pet his paws. They are very soft. Gilligan let me lie on him one time and pet him.
6) Laughing- grown-ups, dogs and lots of things are funny and when you laugh it makes people smile.
7) Going to the beach- especially on a rainy day cause there are lots of shells to look at and surfers in the water.
8) Taking a bath- splashing is fun.
9) Talk to your brother- if he is inside your mama’s belly you can put your face real close and talk and sing. Sometimes he kicks and your mama lets you put your hand on her belly and feel it.
10) Make a spectacle of yourself- you can do this whenever your mama or daddy takes you out in public by yelling, singing, laughing and trying to make the shopping cart move. People say things like that you are so cute.
11) Making friends- other babies are a good place to start. London is one week older than me and we love to play at daycare. I am making other friends too like Connor, who is two months younger than me. Friends are very nice to you when you are having a bad day or not feeling well. They also laugh at all of your jokes.

Smiling

I got an email recently from one of Shelby's grandmothers saying that Shelby needs to smile more in her pictures. Being that this grandmother is on Shelby's Daddy's side of the family, I decided to show it to him.

His response: She's a good one to talk about smiling in pictures!

Shelby smiles, A LOT! Not always for the camera, but when a dog does something that she finds funny, when she sees something on tv that interests her and when she sees her Daddy. And to be honest, when you look at pictures of Shelby's Daddy and his mother, they don't smile. I try, but my face is crooked, so sometimes my smile looks a little off or like I am wincing. And when you think about it, smiling on cue is usually very fake anyhow. So, I didn't take this personally. The best smiles are live in person anyhow.

10 Things I Have Learned Now That I Am 10 Months Old by Shelby C. Herrett

1) I like to take tape off of things. I learned this while removing the tape label from one of my bottles.

2) Disposable diapers are fastened with tape. So you can undo the tape and remove your own poopy diaper. If you manage not to make a mess, your mama will find this amusing.

3) Standing up is much better than crawling or sitting because you can see more.

4) There is this museum piece under our television called a VCR. It has a mouth that you can stick your hand in.

5) If you stick your hand in the vcr's mouth, your mother and father will come running and yelling and make you take your hand out. Then your father will put a big piece of shiny tape called duct tape over the vcr's mouth.

6) Duct tape is stronger than diaper tape.

7) Sometimes, when you get to be ten-months-old, you have to change classes at daycare. This can be very frustrating if you love your teacher very much. I love Ms. Diane very much, but now I have to go to Ms. Nancy's class. I like Ms.Nancy better now than before. I had to get used to her first. I think I will love her very much too.

8) Dogs like crackers very much.

9) You can trick a dog into letting you pet it if you give it some of your cracker.

10) Mommies and Daddies don't like it when you give the dog some of your cracker.

Don't Forget

No, this is not my son (name still to be determined) and no, it's not Shelby either. But a beautiful image, just as all children are beautiful images of God's love

Hypocrisy

I'm going to see how far I can go with this without naming names because I really don't want to get sued for anything.

A model who is not a supermodel, but a mother, whom I previously admired for her values, well, she made a choice I just can't endorse.

This woman is my age and lives in Queens and is the mother of two girls. She is also an actress and lists her talents as being a baby wrangler. She is Mormon and somewhat traditionally so. I had seen her on a television show that will also remain nameless that spotlights pregnant models. You might have seen it if you have the cable tier just below the package with all the HBO and Starz channels.

This woman, on the show and in other mediums I have seen has always endorsed motherhood and even been inspiring by saying she always starts her day with family prayer and scripture reading and telling herself she is the supermom. She also, as a model, is a working mother and has spoken out about too many parents working too many hours in America.

Recently, on her blog (which I won't link to here) she has shown an add to prevent partial birth abortion in which her image and her young daughter's are shown. Good for her! A real young woman standing up for this atrocity.

But another post shows she is the new poster girl for Nuvaring contraceptive. Wha-what?

It has always bothered me that there are women who claim to be very vocally pro-life are quick to endorse the other industry of death known as the contraceptive pharmaceutical industry. Preventing a life through artificial means is the same denial of life in God's world as saying that an unborn child is a mass of cells.

Not only is she the poster girl for the product, but she is excitedly so claiming that she wanted to use a clipboard promoting the product at one of her Sunday school classes for women (sorry, not being Mormon myself I don't know what the technical term is for these classes, so I'm using the common Protestant terminology used by many of my friends) to sign in on as both an endorsement of her and the product. So now she's bringing this hypocrisy to church.

I don't claim to know what any faith other than Catholicism teaches about the culture of life, but it sickens me how some members both of the Catholic faith and others can deny the horrible truthes of artificial birth control.

And I cannot even stomach any longer the argument that it might be beneficial to a woman's health. I could have died from usage of hormonal birth control that I was put on to control bleeding and cramping that was excessive. My doctor did not bother testing me for a common blood clotting disorder that I did in fact have. One of the factors that can cause my blood to abnormally clot is heightened estrogen levels commonly found in birth control pills. (It also happens in pregnancy, but is controlled with my heparin shots.)

When will we not just praise NFP but actually take a stand against these manufacturers? Let's at least try to live up to the true meaning of pro-life in all its respects and remember to be pro-life means also to be open to new life.

WARNING: Indignant Pregnant Woman Rant Ahead!

Being pregnant is a wonderful thing. It makes you glow and there is nothing quite like feeling that little grain of rice morph into a little human who is kicking your insides. You get to pick out names and buy cute clothes (for you and the baby). And best of all, you know at the end there will be a little human being that is half of you and half of the one you love.

Unfortunately there are some downsides to being pregnant. Aside from some of the unfortunate physical symptoms (easily passed over with the knowledge that many of them mean your baby is healthy) and the general uncomfortableness of having to pee every 2 seconds while being hungry and not being able to breathe (also easy to get over as you are aware this is not a permanent condition) there is, in my humble opinion, the biggest pitfall--other people's opinions.

Nothing like having a baby will elicit opinions from friends, family or complete strangers. And they range from what colors to paint your nursery to cloth or disposable diapers. There is your choice of practioner to deciding whether to return to work.

The one that has me going lately is the type of birth you had. With Shelby, I had a c-section with no regrets. Shelby was a breech baby who, due to surgery I had to my uterus in order to preserve my pregnancy, could not be turned. She was a very dangerous frank breech baby which basically means her butt was coming down first. Her head was too large to pass through my cervix from the neck down meaning she would have gotten stuck. We both would have most-likely died had I been so stubborn and selfish as to demand that I have a "natural" vaginal childbirth in the breech position. I was presented with all options and scientific evidence and concluded the health of my child was much more important and I would do my child no favors by dying in child birth even if she made it. I was always confident in my decision that carrying my child and loving her made me a mother and woman, not delivering her a certain way.


If I had any doubts about what I was doing, a friend shut those down by telling me of the traumatic birth of her first son. A large baby and her failure to progress after over 48 hours of labor past six cm forced her to give up her dream of "natural" childbirth and into a c-section. As she ws prepped and waiting for the procedure to begin, her tears began to flow for what she perceived to be a loss. A kind nurse anesthestist took her hand and asked her if she knew what they called women who had c-sections. My friend, threw her tears, asked what. "We call them moms," the NA replied. I knew then I had made the right decision for me.

Regardless, many people still questioned me. Did I see a midwife to confirm what my OB said? (No need. No midwives will see me as I am a high-risk pregnancy.) But my water had broken, why didn't they just let me deliver? (Again, the issue for the c-section was a frank breech baby that could not safely be delivered vaginally.) Did I factor in my husband's feelings in this? (It's none of anyone's business how Jeff and I dealt with these issues, but we agreed together that we were blessed to live in a time when we had so many options and one that was medically safe and would be the greatest assurance that both Shelby and I would live through the birth.) But you haven't given birth. (Excuse me? An eight pound five ounce baby girl who grew in my womb for 38 weeks and 6 days exited my body, if you don't define that as giving birth, check your definitions and your swollen head.)

Now, because of the mere existence of VBAC in our times, almost everyone I have spoken to is miffed that I am not taking this option. Well, here's a reality check. Because I have a blood clotting disorder, my declotting agent has to be stopped 24 hours prior to giving birth, with a vbac or traditional vaginal delivery, this is impossible to predict. Since the onset of labor can start at any time, there is no way to guarantee this happening even with a scheduled c-section. However, the better controlled the birth process is, the best chance is that you will get to be awake and see the birth of your child if you are in this situation. I have also had previous surgery to my uterus (even before my c-section) that puts it at significant risk of rupture. Uterus rupture, hysterectomy follows. And in my family there is a history of vbacs resulting in emergency hysterectomies which in turn meant mothers couldn't see babies as soon as they would like and delays with things like bonding and breastfeeding. Not a road I would like to travel down.

Sure, there are lots of risks associated with c-sections, but for me there are a lot more risks with a vaginal delivery and I have more risks than the average woman on the street. I need to minimize what I can, there are no guarantees in life, but I am confident in my decision to deliver my son by c-section just as his sister was born.

I have heard any number of horror stories from women who were told, by others (some of whom were men, who I think have no place judging) that their decision to be induced, have an epidural, have a drug like staidol administered to take the edge of the pain, gave birth with an ob in a hospital instead of at home or in a birthing center with a mid-wife, chose the mid-wife home birth over the hospital, opted for hypno-birthing or even completely drug free births with long labors made their birthing experience inferior to another experience. Not to mention those of us who have had c-sections.

Here is a piece of advice from a pregnant woman who did experience her water breaking and real contractions and labor prior to her c-section to all those out there currently not pregnant or feeling like they need to promote their way of giving birth: if someone you know has decided to give birth in a way you don't agree with, either support her or back off. Sure, maybe you didn't feel any pain when did your Bradley method breathing or you were on top of the world because you got an epidural. That's you, this is her. She has many pressures associated with becoming a mother for the first or tenth time, and she is making decisions based on her feelings and her heart. You are entitled to your opinion, but you are not entitled to make her feel as if she is inferior because she has a difference in opinion. And remember, labor and birth are different for each woman and each infant. I will never forget my friend Ashley at work who was dreaming of an intervention free, drug-free delivery of her daughter only for the baby's heartrate to drop dangerously (try 67 beats) low and an emergency c-section performed. While Ashley and her husband were nervous about this change of events, it was her mother's reaction that sent her over the edge causing her to be put under. Her mother actually told her in the delivery room that she was disappointed in Ashley for failing to deliver this child naturally. Ashley became so upset physically that she had a panic attack and woke up a few hours later to be told her baby had made it and was healthy. She was still in tears from her mother's words and to this day feels as though she let her mother down. Extreme reaction from grandma? I've heard other stories like this one of husbands, boyfriends, grandparents, siblings, and an overzealous doula (doulas do great things for many women, but this one was not among them) saying similar things to a woman already crushed by not being able to fulfill her dream birth.

Before you offer your story as the supreme way of giving birth, remember the nurse anesthestist mentioned earlier and let this new mom know that hey, this worked for me, but the end goal is still the same and you know she is going to make the best decision for her and her baby.

And remember my mother's advice: When you can't say something nice, better to say nothing at all.

Boy, what a gift!

Image Courtesy of Tribune Media.

Yes, we are having a baby boy in September. I was surprised. But I would have been just as surprised if they had told me it was a girl. Jeff couldn't come with me to the ultrasound. I wasn't sure how to tell him at first. I should disclose here that we both thought we were having another girl (I guess when that's all you know...) and Jeff was looking forward to being out-numbered by "his girls." I know we both also had grandiose images in our minds of Shelby and her sister being best friends and doing everything together. As I was talking to the girl checking me out though, it hit me. Jeff has always said that if he had a boy, he would have to buy a boat. When I called him out in the parking lot, I told him I had good news: he could really start seriously shopping for a boat.

He was happy and that made me happy. I didn't realize I was tense until I I relaxed. Now, don't get me wrong, we were both happy to be having another child regardless, I just couldn't believe we actually knew something about this little person so definitive.

And...there was also the incident in the waiting area. While I was awaiting my ultrasound, another young woman was awaiting one as well. She was only about 19 or 20, unmarried, and probably just a little bit further along than I was. She brought with her her mother and two sisters in hopes they would be able to find out the sex of the baby. The four women were chatting loudly in the small area, so I inadvertantly found out that the baby's father was generally uninvolved and that he and this young woman wanted a girl (despite his lack of involvement, he still had preferences). They went back for their ultrasound and were back a short time later. The pregnant woman was crying. They didn't seem to be tears of joy. I worried for her baby. Then her mother came holding the pictures and showed them to a concerned nurse, saying , "it's a boy." The young woman was silently blowing her nose and cleaning her face. One of her sisters thanked her for allowing them to be a part of the ultrasound. Then her mother piped up again and said, "I don't care what he thinks, he is this little boy's father and he has a right to know. Maybe he'll leave for good, but who knows, I'm calling him." This grandmother made a difficult but correct decision to call the baby boy's father. I overheard her in her conversation say, "Anna (name changed to protect identity) is taking it pretty hard."

That floored me. She was so wrapped up in having a little girl and so sure that her baby's father would leave her if she didn't have one that she could not enjoy and was even upset by learning the news she was having a son. My son (although I wouldn't know that for a few more minutes) was in the middle of some kind of workout and I instinctively, protectively put my hand over him.

We were unsure if we would find out the sex of this baby for a few months before deciding that we would like to this time around. After seeing this exchange in the waiting room, I knew that for some women, it might really be necessary to know. The thought of this woman finding out the sex of her child in the delivery room made me shudder. Would she have rejected him outright? Would she not have been able to bond with him? Or would she have been so overwhelmed she would have forgotton all about wanting a baby girl this go round? And what about his father's reaction? At least now, she would be able to readjust her view of the future and chances of a positive delivery room outcome were possibly more.

A few weeks ago I saw this "Love is" comic and was immediately defensive because I have a daughter. But now I look at it and know that God's plan was for us to have Shelby first and this little guy now. Our son is further proof that "love is" in our lives forever.

In Reference to an Earlier Post

A few weeks ago I posted this.

This past week someone told me how courageous they thought I was to have a child with Down's Syndrome. My daughter doesn't have Down's Syndrome. She has a small nose, which is the only thing I and the cashier checking us out at the grocery store could figure would make this other shopper possibly think she might have the disorder. I was going to say thank you and leave it alone and let her believe Shelby had Down's but then I stopped to think, "that's not fair to all the mother's and father's out there caring for children with DS." I replied, "Thank you, my daughter doesn't have Down's Syndrome, but it wouldn't matter if she did, I wouldn't consider myself courageous, just her mother who loves her." I offered a smile and left it alone. The woman was obviously embarrassed, had no idea what to say and when another cashier opened another check-out line, she quickly joined it. The cashier waiting on me has known me quite some time as did the man bagging my groceries.

"Some people," the cashier said, shaking her head sadly.

"As if it matters if your baby has a disorder?" the bagger added, "I guess we just have to pray for people like that," he said.

I nodded, "She is probably just scared or uncertain of what to say when she meets people with disabilities and her insecurity causes her to see things sometimes that don't exist."

We all shared a smile and wished each other blessings on our days before Shelby and I left.

Two days later, Danielle posted this link of so many beautiful children and families affected by DS. I cried while watching it and thought of what a gift these children were to their families and so many others.

I said before that any child in our family would be a gift and blessing. But I see now that part of that gift and blessing are being able to accept that child freely into our lives.

On this Day After Divine Mercy Sunday

Lift all those affected by this tragedy up in prayer.

P: For the sake of His sorrowful passion
R: Have Mercy on Us and on the WHOLE WORLD

Room Sharing

Today Danielle is having a forum on room sharing among children at her site.

This topic is of some interest to me as when our second child will be born this September, after the first few months, he or she will need to share a room with our daughter who is only nine-months-old now. We live in an 1100 square foot home with three bedrooms. We have no idea how we are going to manage negotiating two cribs in any of our bedrooms, even our master. The small size of our bedrooms may necessitate us losing our "guest bedroom" which has only been in existence since our daughter's birth and we were able, with gifts from friends and family, to purchase a full size bed. We have no problem with allowing the kids to share but are open to the idea that they may require their own living space as they grow and if that is the best option and we can make it happen, we will. There are other ways, after all, to teach our children to share, get along, learn to live with difficult people, and be close without sharing a bedroom.

As to the issue of sharing, let it be known that children having their own rooms IS NOT a recent phenomenon. My mother-in-law, who is seventy-one years-old, has had her own bedroom all her life except for the years she was married to my father-in-law (less than 20). She was not an only child but a later in life baby in a family with only one other child (when I say later in life, her brother was fifteen years older than she was). In her case, sharing would have been a great benefit. When I was six months pregnant with my daughter, she visited us for what my husband had thought was going to be a day trip. She then decided to let us know after she had arrived that she had intended to stay the entire night and would appreciate it if we could give up our bed so she could sleep there (instead of the couch where our other guests slept at the time because we couldn't afford a guest bed). Not so bad you say, well, I could not fit on the couch and would have had to sleep at six months pregnant on our floor which is over a concrete slab. Now, before everyone starts with, but she's 71, my great grandmother who was in her late 80s and had had both hips replaced ALWAYS slept on the couch because it was comfortable and also because she refused to put someone else out of his or her bed. My mother-in-law also expects her guests to sleep on her floor, never offering her bed and has no guest room, using what would be her other bedroom as an extra television room. The point of this diatribe is that we shouldn't all jump to the conclusion that "kids today are so spoiled" because they have their own rooms, it's been happening for a while and is not necessarily as symptom of wealth either--my mother-in-law was born during the GREAT DEPRESSION and her family was as bad off as any and her father built her a room onto the house.

We all need to remember that living with other people and sharing are things that also should be being taught in many avenues not just because we are sharing a room. I had my own room growing up (I had three brothers who shared a room, my parents refused to mix sexes when it came to bedrooms) but still shared a bathroom with my brothers who destroyed many of my toiletries that I paid for myself when I was a teenager to "make potions" and just have fun (and I'm not just talking the little bit of make-up I was allowed but also feminine hygiene products and shampoo and face wash).

Just because a child has his or her own bedroom does not guarantee that he or she will not be close to his or siblings or will not learn to share or get along with people of other temperments or personalities. As parents, it is part of our vocation to know each of our children well enough (even in a large family) to understand how to best meet that child's needs, maybe it's not a bedroom but a more private area to hang out with friends as the original writer said, regardless we have to try our best to treat that child as the individual, wonderful, unique part of God's creation he or she is and not just a piece a of the larger whole that is the family. A healthy balance is what needs to be struck.

I'm all for siblings sharing bedrooms, if it is in the best interest of the family or in the case that allowing a child to have his or her own room is in no way feasible despite it being the best option for your family. The reason I am not posting a response of Danielle's site and putting it here is because of some of the other responses I have read there seem to reek of "this is the only way to raise your children and if your kids aren't sharing rooms YOU, reader are a bad parent, YOUR children are entitled brats, and YOU are not teaching them sharing or compromise." Even Danielle's originating post carries some of this sentiment. Many of the posters are like us and don't have another option, fine. A few express a balance approach. Those comments that are judgmental do get under my skin, though, if for no other reason than God did not intend us to judge one another, but to help one another. Share your ideas fine, but don't say that others are wrong, especially if you have never walked in their shoes.

Traditional Latin Catholic Mass

The quality of the film is grainy but sound is good and this is really beautiful. Takes about an hour, but is narrated by Fulton Sheen and well worth it!

Kind of Figuring Things Out

Well either Shelby or the new baby has a new/old dresser. Since we painted it purple, if the baby is a boy, the dresser will be Shelby's. Not that I have a problem putting a baby boy's clothes in a purple dresser, but I guess he might not like it when he is older possibly. But that might all be moot if the baby is a girl. In three more weeks we may know if we are having a boy or girl. Which will simplify a few things greatly. Jeff is not sure if he can come to the ultrasound but if he can't he wants me to find out the sex and not tell him. I was like, sha-as if! We have a lot left to figure out as you can see.

A Christmas Story - Little Orphan Annie Secret Decoder Pin!

As some of my friends at work are experiencing disappointment about recent promotions that have not gone through, I thought here was a genuine disappointment. Wouldn't it be nice if we could all look back and laugh at our disappointments the way we laugh at Ralphie's?

As of this Friday

my parents will no longer own the house I grew up in. We moved there in 1983 when I was barely four. Now my parents are grandparents with 2, almost 3 children graduated from college and they are looking for another home. If everything goes as planned they will close on a new house at the end of April.

Despite memories, I have had no sad feelings about the sale of this house and another family moving in. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that I've lived away from that house for almost ten years now. Or maybe, like in the real estate commercials, I know you can take your memories with you.

I haven't been to see the house my parents hope to purchase (only pictures) and it was just this last weekend that I realized that I have no idea about where they are going to live. I was thinking about going to Raleigh at some point to visit (no specific dates were in my head Mom, I was just tossing around some ideas!) when I realized that I would have to learn a whole new way to get to where they will be living. That I will be traveling to a place that has no familiar landmarks. That I could conceivably never enter the city of Raleigh again. After all, there would be no reason to go to the Food Lion on Leesville Road if my parents don't live around the corner, we would go to another grocery store. And in ten years, I would have no recognition of the area I once considered home. I'm not sad, but it is very surreal. VERY surreal.

Remembering Again

Today I was thinking of my late friend MaryEllen. I had very much wanted to bring Shelby to Raleigh to meet her, but as her cancer was advancing last fall, it could not be set up. And so now, I know MaryEllen is looking down on us. I can hear her saying, "Stop worrying about me, I'm home! What are you feeding the baby? What are you feeding yourself for the the new baby? What exercises are you doing? Are you enjoying your pregnancy this time?"

While I was miserably ill during my pregnancy with Shelby, I have been relatively illness free with this baby. Shelby's Godfather, a priest, told me while I was pregnant that I could specifically offer up my morning sickness for those suffering from cancer and the side-effects of chemotherapy and radiation. I look back on that now and hope that my suffering might have eased MaryEllen's and so many men, women and children who had no relief from their illness. How strange it is now that I have no illness but no MaryEllen. I would sacrifice feeling well to have my friend back.

I know that it is not an accident that I am thinking of MaryEllen now. Last week, Elizabeth Edwards announced that her cancer had returned and is not curable but is "manageable." My heart aches as I think of her daughter Kate who lost her older brother in an accident and now could lose her mother before she gets married or has children of her own. And for her little ones Emma Claire and Jack who are watching their mother so bravely fight to see each of their milestones. I think of her husband John whom I know she urged to continue on his quest toward the presidency. Regardless of politics, my heart goes out to him. No matter what people say, I know it could not have been an easy decision. I have seen many interviews with John and Elizabeth Edwards and know they are a woman couple took the same vows that I and so many of us did, "for better or for worse; in sickness and in health." How we all hope and expect we will only have to live through better and health. And some of us will be challenged through for worse and in sickness. When I hear people like my own husband say how selfish he is and how selfish she is, I feel almost a rage thinking, "you have no idea what it is like to lose a child or face this illness. How dare you judge them for the choices they made together." John and Elizabeth Edwards launched his campaign for the US Senate in just the couple of years after losing their son Wade. And they are continuing John's campaign for president after learning of the return of Elizabeth's cancer.

I'll be honest, I won't be voting for John Edwards, at least, not at this point. But I am a compassionate human being. And it is now that I am experiencing exhaustion from being pregnant and having a child under one year that I am offering up that relative pain for all those suffering from cancer, both curable, treatable and not so. Elizabeth Edwards' announcement reminded me of the friend I lost so recently and how bravely she fought. It reminds me of how MaryEllen's fight was occasionally bookmarked by trips to Disney and the beach with her daughter Kayli. How adventures to the playground were wonderful removals from the daily regimen of pills and doctor visits. We all experience pain and suffering differently, MaryEllen wanted all her friends and family to largely continue living their lives. While we all prayed and worried and many of us visited, MaryEllen loved hearing of the mundane facts of our lives. Elizabeth Edwards standing by her husband as the announcement of her cancer was made and his continuing goal of the White House was pursued, urging her husband to continue reminded me of MaryEllen. The woman who stood beside you regardless of what she was suffering.

With St Patrick's Day Coming I Couldn't Resist

My Irish Name:

Your Irish Name Is...

Orla Kavanagh

What's your Irish Name?

Jeff's Irish Name:

Your Irish Name Is...

Cadhla Gallagher

What's your Irish Name?

and Shelby's Irish Name:

Your Irish Name Is...

Alannah O'Kelly

What's your Irish Name?

No fair, I like Shelby's best!

Moving Toward a Milestone

When I was pregnant with Shelby, I anxiously awaited my 12th week of pregnancy. Miscarriage had taught me this was a milestone. A major one. I was no less apprehensive after 12 weeks and I approached each visit with my ob and ultrasound with some degree of trepidation. This pregnancy has little exception. I go for a 12 week check up this week. I have had no unusual symptoms and am sure everything will be fine. But I still have nerves. We plan on bringing Shelby so she can hear the baby's heartbeat. Not that she'll understand what she is hearing, but it will help us to make her feel involved.

With this pregnancy, with Shelby already here, I am very tired as to be expected and find myself with little time for all the worries I cultivated with Shelby.

A couple of weeks ago, I went to the maternal fetal specialist for an ultrasound and counseling. Everything went fine. Of course, I had to sign about 30 forms declining all genetic testing on myself, Jeff and the baby and sign that I was fully aware of what I was declining. We declined this testing with Shelby as well. We read the literature. We consulted friends and family and we prayed. The answer was obvious, any child would be a gift. All we could hope for was to be the best family for the child we were given. We are not wearing rose colored glasses and we are aware this baby might have any number of challenges. But it is in accepting what God has given that we are challenged ourselves to use the gifts we have received.

Love is...

Four years ago today, this momentous occasion happened.

"God Will Not Test You..."

"God is faithful and will not let you be tried beyond your strength; but with the trial he will also provide a way out, so that you may be able to bear it." 1 Corinthians 10:13

I was reminded of this on Friday as I had (like Alexander in the book) a terrible, horrible, no-good, very bad day. It started early with weather that was less than desirable. I had to leave early to ensure I wasn't snarled in any weather related accidents. The wind pushed my little car as I crossed the river on the big draw bridge. I said a prayer for the teenagers killed in Alabama the day before, knowing they never stood a chance.

I got to work and the day started pretty much like any other. Plenty of grumpy customers who feel like their cell phone woes are worse than anything anyone else in the world is going through. At 8, I went on break. I went downstairs to get a chicken biscuit, but they were all out, so I settled on a blueberry muffin. As I went back upstairs, the power went off in the building. We have a back-up generator, so I was none too worried.

I got back up stairs to find that only one side of the building had power restored by the generator. The side I don't sit on. So, our whole team was told to move as few of our things as we could get by with to the empty desks on the other side of the floor. That's great and all, but what happens when the people those desks belong to come in? As soon as we were settled, power returned to our side. So, it was on the move again. I was scheduled for an online training, which I was stuck on a call and missed. I was rescheduled, logged in late, and then could not access the training. On top of all this, the computer at my desk, had power, but would not log on. So, I moved to a co-workers seat across from mine who was taking a few days vacation as his family was visiting from Jersey.

One after another, my customers screamed, raged and were grossly insenstive about their cell phone issues. I patiently explained solutions to various problems all the while praying for more patience as it was already wearing thin. The day was rough for others too. My supervisor said "Thank you God for comp time!" and took off a few hours early.

I made it through the rest of my day, leaving at 2:30 to go get Shelby at daycare. As I meandered through traffic to get to daycare listening to classical music, it hit me. I wasn't bitter or crying or upset. My pregnancy hormones were in check the whole day. I wasn't being hunted down like an animal in Darfur, I'm not dodging bullets in Iraq, I'm not hungry or thirsty or imprisoned. Without thinking of it, I had been offering up my problems of the day. After all, many of the ill people I had spoken to had bigger problems in their lives that were only being expressed through their interaction with me. I could leave their problems at work at the end of my day and go hold my beautiful baby girl. As for those suffering in the world at large, I could close the newspaper or change the channel. Something I know they wish they could do. At a red light I quietly said a prayer for those suffering, in pain, dying, experiencing war, or hunger, or imprisonment.

"Lord, I know my load is light in comparison to so many in the world, but I offer this light load so that someone else may feel the relief that comes from your love and presence in his or her life."

Hahaha

Sometimes you just have to be reminded of simple things to smile or laugh. This little guy is certainly proof that God is good.

In Case, Just In Case, You Haven't Heard

Yes, I have been busy lately. So I am sorry my posts have been sporadic at best. But we do have some exciting news at our house. Baby Herrett # 2 will be here sometime around September 26, 2007. Unlike the Balducci family, this time we will be finding out the sex of this baby. We loved not knowing with Shelby, but we have a few logistical kinks with our house we have to figure out before the baby gets here. The consensus is we are getting another girl, but we'll find out in a few more weeks. I am almost eleven weeks now. Not showing, but feeling this pregnancy.

For those familiar with my pregnancy with Shelby, here is a run down of what's the same and what's changed:
1) Morning Sickness: not the same wretching I had with Shelby just mild nausea.
2) Food: I had major food aversions with Shelby, this baby is hungry ALL THE TIME!!!
3) Headaches: thus far, I have been spared with this pregnancy.
4) Heprin shots: they're baaaaaaacckkkk!!!!!!!!
5) Gestational Diabetes: although it's questionable if I ever had it the first time, I was advised to go on the diet. I do this more or less successfully. Lots of fruit in the diet now.
6) Fatigue: unbearable with an eight-month-old to chase down.

I consider myself lucky to be doing as well as I am for still nursing an eight-month-old. Amazingly, my milk has actually increased a little. We are busy, busy teaching Shelby to crawl, keeping the dogs in line and prepping for this little one.

So, if I don't get back to you right away or post, you're not far from my thoughts!

New York Subway Hero (CBSNews)

This story happened about a month ago. On Ash Wednesday it is helpful to remember that Jesus gave His life for us and sometimes real sacrifice is what He asks from his children. Imagine if we all loved our family and friends as if they were a part of Christ. Now imagine we rememeber that all men and women are our brothers and sisters and part of Christ. Perhaps we would be as unselfish as Wesley Autry.

Valentine

So everyone's new favorite thing to ask at work is what are you getting for Valentine's Day?

Jeff and I haven't really done Valentine's Day in a few years, so I never even think of it. Problem is, most people don't understand that. So, this year, I said, "We have a baby, that's what we got for each other for Valentine's Day."

People look at me like, "Yeah, right."

But, it's true.

So, I was really tickled to find this Anti-Valentine's List. Come on, you can't really say you don't agree with most of these!

And for all those who are not just "in love" but truly love each other. Remember, Valentine's Day is every day that you smile at one another and appreciate all that you have.

Hard to Believe

More Pix of the Shellster

Slide Show

Let Them Know You Never Forget

Please offer your prayers for all the unborn and their families. Please remember them in your prayers not just today but always.

We can never forget those whom we lost, but through our prayers they will live on forever in our memories.

In Just Two Weeks!

Photo courtesy of NFL.com and the official website of the Indianapolis Colts.

Peyton Manning and Tony Dungy are going to the Super Bowl! It didn't look good last night when I fell asleep, so this was pleasant news when I awoke this morning.

AND...

They will be playing the terror of the midwest Chicago Bears.

This will be an exciting Super Bowl.

No Rest for the Weary

Today I was going to rest. Today my naps were not going to be interrupted by barking dogs or ringing phones or anything else. Today I wouldn't have to get dressed.

And then the mail came. And in it were insurance forms for my doctor's office which I needed to get to them ASAP. So, I was out of bed, showering, dressing and driving into town. Now, as I was making my way over the bridge, I noticed that traffic was awfully slow in the other direction. The doctor's office is about 2 blocks from daycare. So, I took a deep breath and decided that despite still not feeling well, since I was in town and in the neighborhood and Jeff would have to battle the traffic going back across the bridge during rush hour, that I would go ahead and pick the baby up.

Whew! I'm exhausted again now that I typed all that!

It's So Cold

It's so cold outside that I find myself wanting to doze off to Christmas movies! Like A Christmas Story. Now, if only someone would buy me a red-ryder bb gun with a compass and a stock and this thing which tells time.

From a Not So Sick Time

This was us a few months ago. I like looking at pictures from before my current illness. It helps me remember that I won't always be this tired and this zapped for energy.

How Can

a six-month get up at 2 am (she had been down for ten hours) and still be up at 6:45 when her father took her to daycare? And wide awake and full of energy? Miss Diane is sure for a quiet day at daycare today!

Lousy

That's how mono feels in a word. Lousy because I feel like I'm not able to take as good care of my daughter. Lousy because a walk to the mailbox exhausts me. Lousy because I have no appetite and can barely taste or smell food.

But good that I have a little free time to do some painless weight lifting, like a few extra rosaries!

Sick and Very Tired

I was diagnosed with mono yesterday. I am out of work for at least two weeks, maybe more depending on what my doctor thinks. So, my limited postings may be even more limited as my energy is small and my child's needs are large. Amazingly, she is very responsive to my not feeling well, which is reassuring to me. I feel as if God is blessing her with compassion which is allowing her to soothe herself to sleep with less than five minutes of crying at night, among other things. Please pray that I will be healed soon and be able to return to my normal level of activity in all areas of life.

Important News from Our House

Jeff, who once boasted to have read no more than 5 books in his life by choice, will have to read 75 books this semester. And he wants to do it!
So, we are now making a list of children's books for his class. Guess this means Kristen will be reading or re-reading 75 books this semester too.....

One of my favorite

actresses past away. Remember the name Yvonne de Carlo? Probably not but you would remember her face and most famous character. I loved how she reinvented herself to enjoy a long career. And I loved her most famous characters natural mothering under unnatural circumstances.

Missing

My great-grandpa died on Thursday morning. He was 95-years-old, so this wasn't completely unexpected. I do have the consolation that he is no longer missing my great-grandma who died the fall of 1999.

Rest In Peace Grandpa Ben...we'll see you again someday!

Shelby's First "Pet"

adopt your own virtual pet!

Jones Soda... Anyone

You Are Pecan Pie Soda

Sweet, but totally nuts

What Jones Holiday Soda Are You?

This Last Week

of 2006 was full of ends. Obviously there was the end of the year 2006, but for me, it was framed by four deaths. Three of them you all were aware of. One you could not be unless you are a family member.

1) James Brown. He died Christmas Day. The man had his problems, but as I listened to news reports of his body lying "in state" at the Apollo Theatre in Harlem and of people dancing and singing in the streets, I was made to think of how I want people to memorialize me. I would prefer not to have a somber ceremony. I want people to dance and sing and remember me not as being gone, but of the life I lived. I think of the New Orleans' funerals with the bands. That kind of celebration.

2) Gerald Ford. Talk about inheriting a mess. I think Gerald Ford showed us that you have to make the best out of whatever situation life hands you. He lived with integrity and best of all, he was never bitter but always considered it a blessing to serve as the leader of our country.

3) Saddam Hussein. I don't believe in the death penalty. Ever. I think this is evidence of a sad trend of death in our world. I don't deny Saddam was a horrible person and deserved to be punished. I believe that only when God sends the Angel of Death should one succumb to it.

4) My sister-in-law's mother. When we gathered for Christmas dinner at my brother-in-law and sister-in-law's house, my sister-in-law shared that her first experience with death was when she was eleven years old and just before Christmas her dog was killed by a passing motorist. She described not wanting any presents, just her dog back. Two days after telling us this story, her mother passed away after a long battle with dementia and other various illnesses. Luckily, my brother-in-law, sister-in-law and nephew were there. I think of how painful this must be as my sister-in-law is an only child and this happening just after a joyous Christmas. I feel for my nephew, who will never remember the grandmother who wanted him so badly.

I start 2007 thinking of how these ends will yield new beginnings. God Bless You All.

Baby's First Christmas

Shelby's first Christmas will go down as the Christmas we became proud owners of a nebulizer. It will also be the Christmas where she got her first rain slicker from Nan and Poppy, the Christmas in which we got rain, rain and more rain but NO SNOW!, the Christmas we got our cards two days late, and the Christmas we first felt a new element to the season as we saw it through five-month-old eyes.

We just got back from visiting Gigi and Papa today and Great-Grandma and Great-Grandpa. Although our visit was far too brief, we enjoyed one another's company and exchanging gifts and memories.

A Welcome Christmas Present

Just minutes old...
3-4 hours old...
Uncle Trevor, Daddy Zach with baby Tyler, and Grandpa Ted
Zach, Jessica and Tyler
A first look at the little guy for Mama and Daddy

My new baby cousin, Tyler Edwin Beckingham, born December 20, 2006 at 1:37 pm weighing 6 lbs 5 oz and 18 inches long. This little peanut was born a few weeks early to Jessica and Zach.

Merry Christmas to All

It's Quiet in Our House

so I don't know what to do. Jeff is picking Shelby up because my "check engine light" came on this morning. I am so not used to having the dogs and house to myself. I am listening to some Christmas music and trying to relax and enjoy myself, but I feel a little selfish, maybe I will try baking some cookies or something!

Success Is...

1) Doing all your Christmas Shopping in one attempt
2) Already having everything you need to bake your holiday treats
3) Getting all those presents wrapped
4) Having all your presents under the tree
5) Managing to get all the laundry washed, dried, folded, and put away in one day
6) Thanking God for it all

Wrong Answer

"Oh I heard that, but I wasn't going to tell you about it," is not the right answer when your husband says, "I think I'm going to get your muffler replaced because it's rattling."

Chimichanga

I love the show 2 and 1/2 Men. In one episode, Alan hires his ditzy girlfriend Candy to be his office assistant. Alan is a chiropractor. In one of her bright moments, Candy takes and x-ray of a chimichanga she has just purchased. When Alan asks why, she answers, matter-of-factly that she wanted to know what was inside it. When Alan then asks the obvious follow-up question as to why she would order it if she didn't know what was in a chimichanga, Candy answers, "Because I like saying chimichanga."

Believe it or not, there is a moral to this story. And no, it's not be careful who you date. Or don't hire your girlfriend. It's a little more significant.

How about don't do something just because it sounds cool or looks good on paper?

I've seen a lot of people lately make bad decisions. And not like I poured regular instead of diet coke bad. I mean awful decisions with nasty repurcussions.

In the neighboring, much larger city a college student waited in line for hours at Wal-Mart to get 2 Playstation 3s. When he got home, he was attacked and the units were stolen from him. When sherriff's deputies went to serve a warrant to one of the attackers, the alleged attacker was shot and killed.

Might have been a cool unit. Cool enough to steal. But even if this young man hadn't been killed, he would have been facing charges like assault and battery, assault with a deadly weapon and grand theft and larceny. He was all of 19-years-old. Now, he's dead and no one is a winner. The young man who was originally robbed is still recovering from his injuries.

So, before you think something sounds cool enough to do, take a moment. That's all it takes is a moment of sound thinking to make sure you aren't going to regret this decision.

A Good Old Fashioned Family Christmas

that's what Clark Griswold extols the virtues of in the movie National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation. As we famously remember this includes digging a Christmas tree out of the frozen ground, lighting the house to the point that auxillary nuclear power must be used for the rest of the city (we have a neighbor with these aspirations), and having the entire extended family stay in their home.

So, what really constitutes a "good old fashioned family Christmas?" We all think of Norman Rockwell and Currier and Ives prints, but let's get real. Families are scattered across the country and globe now. While lots of moms and dads are thankfully able to stay home with kids now, a lot cannot and even those who can are not always able to create mammoth feasts and elaborate desserts. And then there is a debate as old as Charlie Brown, artificial or real Christmas trees. Not all of us are Clark W Griswold's who will go on the search for the perfect real tree. Many of us cannot be bothered and prefer the new artificial models that settle themselves. And then there was a man I saw on tv who said, "Artificial tree, artificial Christmas."

I think what makes a 'good old fashioned family Christmas' is two things. Jesus and family. Celebrating the birth of our Lord might include Santa or cookies or caroling but it should include family. Whether it involves visits over long distances or short ones or even telephone calls to those we hold dear, spending holidays with family are what it's all about.

Accepting Life

Yesterday, I posted about dogs not taking down our Christmas tree (which thankfully still hasn't happened). I know many people would laugh at that fear, but being a dog owner for five + years now, I have reason to be fearful.

Our second Christmas in this house, we bought our tree at the hardware store, brought it home, and decorated it. It was beautiful! We took time to place every ornament in just the right place. Our lights twinkled. Ours was to be a happy Christmas. One day, I came home from work after Jeff to find that I was somehow to blame for the Christmas tree branches that Gilligan, our beagle, threw up. He had eaten them right off the tree. I quickly pointed out that I had just come home and the tree was eaten and thrown back up while Jeff was home and supposed to be watching the dog. That was the end of the story. Or so I thought. I then went to plug in the tree to discover an entire strand of lights out. I searched for the unconnected plug only to discover that it wasn't a disconnected plug, but a wire that had been chewed threw. Ala Christmas Vacation. Except, luckily, our tree had not been plugged in at the time of said chewing, so Gilligan survived. I was hot. At this point, Jeff sheepishly admitted he had come home and basically ignored the dog to water the tree and readjust a few ornaments and then went outside to clean up the yard. Have I ever mentioned that Gilligan can be extremely jealous? Especially of Jeff's attention. Knowing that his behavior had caused Gilligan's reaction, Jeff made plans for his day off (the next day) accordingly. When I came home the following day from work, the tree was redecorated with the damage strand of lights replaced (it required the complete removal of all lights and ornaments and their replacing) and nothing on the bottom third of the tree.

So, I accept as a part of life that my dogs might topple a Christmas tree or open a present or tear apart a stocking. In my house, these things just happen.

Days are passing

and I have not sent out a single Christmas card or even begun my Christmas shopping. I could come up with a lot of excuses, like, for example, I have a five-month-old who is starting solids. But it's not that. I just haven't done it. Simple as that. I refuse to dwell on it. After all, I have gotten our tree up (a real one) and decorated. And the interior of our home is done. I have started Princess Shelby on peas (which she loves). I have bought the ingredients for my baking adventures. I got a lot of meat last weekend and it was all on sale! So, days are passing, and some things aren't getting done. But, Shelby still goes on walks almost daily, Jeff and I are well, our dogs have decided they will not take down our Christmas tree this year...we are living in the peace that comes from Christ's love.

Moving On Up

from just breastmilk to breastmilk and rice cereal. I know it's not very LLL of me to introduce rice cereal at five months, but, I have a baby who is no longer satisfied with breastmilk alone. So, we have a baby who is starting solids.

But this isn't the real thrust of this post. It's about looking back and seeing how far we had come. Two Christmases ago, we were sadly contemplating the holiday season as our first baby was to be due around the 23rd but was lost during my seventh week. We were also looking at the scary process of surgery I would undergo in the hopes it would prevent losing any other babies. Then, last Christmas, we had a picture from our first ultrasound showing a tiny life no bigger than a peanut at that point. July seemed so far away! Now, here we are, with a five-month-old healthy, beautiful baby girl who is cutting teeth and graduating slowly to solids.

I am forced to remember that life moves at God's speed, not our own. We were given Shelby when we were ready for her. And it seems to be part of God's plan, not ours (ours was to wait until six months) to start cereal now. We are moving on and up in life with the grace and love of God

Please Pray

for my friend Kim, her son and her family. Her son was hit by a roadside bomb while on patrol in Iraq last week. He was with two other Marines, one who was killed and the other who was hit in the head and whose survival is precarious. Kim's son was hit in his lower body and is in Rammstein in Germany awaiting return to the US for treatments. Kim has been at work and been a trooper, but all prayers of strength for this mother are greatly appreciated.

Glory and Praise to Our God

Who alone gives light to our days
Many are the blessings He bears
To those who trust in His ways
~Dan Schutte

Our dear sister in Christ, MaryEllen, has passed on from this world at approximately 9:15 last evening surrounded by her daughter, sisters and many friends. The Lord ended the earthly life of one of His greatest evangelists, a woman whose faith moved mountains and energized children and youth for years. I thought of the lyrics above from Dan Schutte's Glory and Praise to Our God when I learned of MaryEllen's homecoming. MaryEllen was always trusting of God's direction, even when it was scary or contrary to what she wanted. We were immensely blessed by her life and are touched to know she received God's greatest blessing at last. And now, MaryEllen, because I know how much pride you took in being Irish, I send you home with this blessing:

May the road rise to meet you.
May the wind be always at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face,
the rains fall soft upon your fields
and, until we meet again,
may God hold youin the palm of his hand.

God, who raised Jesus from the dead, will give new life to our own mortal bodies through his Spirit living in us.
~Romans 8:11

Something I'm Thankful For

but probably won't see this year are snowflakes. They are all unique and remind me that God's love extends to all creation even though we are not all the same and often go ways God doesn't want us to.

Apology

I apologize for my post yesterday. It was childish and selfish and I realize that, but I am not going to delete it as we all need reminders sometimes of our negative ways to help deter us from going down those roads again.

I am ashamed of my post even more so because in the midst of all of this happening, one of my friends is losing her battle with cancer. I actually like to think of it as her winning her battle to get to heaven, but cancer is a horrible way to get to this everlasting reward. She will be leaving behind a six-year-old little girl, many students whose lives she touched in Miami and Raleigh and many teens she counseled as a youth leader. One of these former teens wrote in a guest book at a support site that when she was a teen, this woman's faith scared her it was so strong, this former teen went on to say that now she is so thankful for that kind of faith and that my friend is one of the most influential people in her life. After learning of her imminent return to the Father, I immediately offered up my suffering for her. So I might not be able to get up to see my parents and I had 24 hours of sickness, she has endured much more than I have. How dare I throw myself a pity party while she struggles through her last few hours.

So, again, I am sorry for my childish discourse yesterday. May you all have a blessed Thanksgiving.

I am

feeling like a loser. I got food poisoning so I missed a day and a half of work on a short work week. Plus, now, my car won't start. I know the battery is dead because nothing is working on it. I can't figure out what happened except maybe yesterday when I was sick and getting the baby out of the car her door didn't close all the way or something and left a light on which ran the battery out? Now, this isn't a huge deal except that tomorrow is the day before Thanksgiving. I won't be able to get this replaced. My mom just sent me gas money to come and visit over the weekend, but it looks like now, unless somebody comes and picks me and the baby up and brings us back, we won't be going. I feel like the ultimate holiday loser! How do these things happen to me?

It Happened...

Rutgers lost its first game of the season last night. The good news is they will still probably get a bowl game invitation and now the pressure of being unbeaten is removed. Our home was a little bit sad this morning with this news, but we are very thankful that we live in a country where we have the freedom to root for whatever team we would like!

Teetering

on the brink of a cold/sinus infection/allergies. Boy that wipes you out. Shelby and Jeff are both well, so I count myself very lucky. It's much better for me to be sick than one of them.

Cleveland Rocks

The Browns won their game today! We got to 3 and 7. Just for the record, all of Shelby's teams won this week! Go Browns!

Every Mama Needs A Friend

So, I've created a blog dedicated to my own product reviews and shout-outs. It's called A Mama's Friend and I also plan to include reviews of great movies, books, cds, and shows for kids and families. I hope you'll stop on by when you get a chance!

God Bless Sister Isaac

Sister Isaac Koenig is recognized as an Albert Schweitzer Honors Scholar on Nov. 9. This award is given annually by the UNCW Honors Scholars Program and Randall Library to a person from the area who exemplifies the attributes or interests of Albert Schweitzer. UNCW/Caroline Cropp

Sister Isaac is a member of our parish and she runs the Tileston Outreach Clinic as well as the outreach programs that provide staffing to the soup kitchen, clothes and furniture for the needy, placement for people being released from prison and others. Her caring and loving nature is known by all members of St Mary Parish. Congratulations on this honor!

The Little Football Team That Could

Go Scarlet Knights! Some may have doubted you in the past and even laughed at your efforts, but you perservered. Now 9-0, you stand proud of your achievements but careful as pride comes before the fall. Thanks for a great season so far!

My Little Ogre Princess

I am a Disney Princess. I took the quiz and I am Belle. No shocker there with my nose always in a book and all this looking for inner beauty I do.

Shelby, my sweet baby girl is not a Disney Princess. Oh, don't get me wrong, she's a princess alright. She has all the cutest little girl outfits, lots of pink and purple, and I'm sure her father has plans to give her a car for her 16th birthday. But Shelby is a princess of a different sort altogether. Shelby is a Dreamworks Princess. More specifically Princess Fiona. She's beautiful but don't expect her to see it. She loves the outdoors. She likes sports (just try to get her attention when hockey or football are on--especially Rutgers or Wisconsin football). And she can burp like a boy--er, champ. And while she is a beautiful baby, there is this matter of her temperment which is normally cheerful and sweet, but once we've crossed the point of no-return, she's an ogre.

So, here's to my little Ogre princess. I wouldn't have her any other way.

Seeing It Again

People have told me since Shelby was born what a beautiful baby she is. Her skin is olive and she bore no stork bites and since she was breech and a c-section baby her head has always had perfect shape and she bore none of the battle scars of a naturally delivered baby. Of course we thought she was beautiful, but we could not believe how complete strangers would approach us (and still do) to share their thoughts on her.

Perhaps the sweetest stories of this have come with my encounters with children with her. When Shelby was just a few weeks old, I had to go to an outpatient center in the hospital to get my blood drawn. While we were waiting, Shelby was in her carseat asleep, a mother with two young boys came in. The oldest was about four and he casually walked by her carseat, sneaking a peek as he did. I pretended not to notice as he obviously didn't want to be found out. A short while later, he came by again and this time, stopped and bent over, close to her face. He looked up at me, looked me right in the eye and whispered, almost reverantly, "She's so beautiful." I smiled back at him and said thank you. It warmed me how sweetly he had examined her and how he saw in her little sleeping face all the innocence and gentleness we all see in newborns. He was in awe of the power and beauty of new life. He helped me to appreciate what so many had told me before. Physically, yes, Shelby is beautiful, but she is also a reminder of the beauty of newness that God gives us in the form of these tiny little babies.

As Promised

Here is Daddy holding Bumblebee Shelby on her First Halloween!

Later

Later tonight I will hopefully have a picture of Shelby in her Halloween costume to post!

Toys

I don't remember liking a whole lot of toys as a kid. I liked stuffed animals, and I loved books. But not so many toys.
My husband and I traveled to our favorite store with Shelby yesterday and Jeff wanted to peruse the toy aisle. There is a lot of stuff out there! Nothing really for a baby as young as ours, but all kinds of developmental toys, tech toys, board games, make-believe, anything you can imagine. For Christmas we agreed to pretty much get each other stuff for Shelby. Now remember I said how there is an array of toys out there now, well, I have a feeling we will be able to duplicate some of our purchases anyway.

A Strange Realization

It is easier on me when Shelby has a runny nose cold than a dry congestion cold. I find it makes my life much easier if I have a snotty nose to wipe rather than a congested one to suction out.

(Can ) Father-son bond of Dick and Rick Hoyt

Thanks to my mom for sharing this video with me, I have seen the Hoyts on the Iron Man Competitions before so some of this video was not new to me and get ready it is a true heart wrencher. All of us who are parents just want our children to be normal and have every oppurtunity afforded to them, but few of us are as challenged by our children's abilities to provide them this as Dick and Judy Hoyt. But wherever there is the love of a parent, there is God's love making things happen. Please read below the writing of Rick Reilly and then enjoy the video.

STRONGEST DAD IN THE WORLD

[From Sports Illustrated, By Rick Reilly]

I try to be a good father. Give my kids mulligans. Work nights to pay for their text messaging. Take them to swimsuit shoots. However, compared with Dick Hoyt, I suck.

Eighty-five times, he's pushed his disabled son, Rick, 26.2 miles in marathons. Eight times, he's not only pushed him 26.2 miles in a wheelchair but also towed him 2.4 miles in a dinghy while swimming and pedaled him 112 miles in a seat on the handlebars--all in the same day.

Dick has also pulled him cross-country skiing, taken him on his back mountain climbing, and once hauled him across the U.S. on a bike. Makes taking your son bowling look a little lame, right?

And what has Rick done for his father? Not much--except save his life.

This love story began in Winchester, Mass., 43 years ago, when Rick was strangled by the umbilical cord during birth, leaving him brain-damaged and unable to control his limbs.

``He'll be a vegetable the rest of his life;'' Dick says doctors told him and his wife, Judy, when Rick was nine months old. ``Put him in an institution.''

But the Hoyts weren't buying it. They noticed the way Rick's eyes followed them around the room. When Rick was 11, they took him to the engineering department at Tufts University and asked if there was anything to help the boy communicate. ``No way,'' Dick says he was <>told. There's nothing going on in his brain.''

"Tell him a joke,'' Dick countered. They did. Rick laughed. Turns out a lot was going on in his brain.

Rigged up with a computer that allowed him to control the cursor by touching a switch with the side of his head, Rick was finally able to communicate. First words? ``Go Bruins! And after a high school classmate was paralyzed in an accident and the school organized a charity run for him, Rick pecked out, ``Dad, I want to do that.''

Yeah, right. How was Dick, a self-described ``porker'' who never ran more than a mile at a time, going to push his son five miles? Still, he tried. ``Then it was me who was handicapped,'' Dick says. ``I was sore for two weeks.''

That day changed Rick's life. ``Dad,'' he typed, ``when we were running, it felt like I wasn't disabled anymore!''

And that sentence changed Dick's life. He became obsessed with giving Rick that feeling as often as he could. He got into such hard-belly shape that he and Rick were ready to try the 1979 Boston Marathon.

``No way,'' Dick was told by a race official. The Hoyts weren't quite a single runner, and they weren't quite a wheelchair competitor. For a few years, Dick and Rick just joined the massive field and ran anyway, and then they found a way to get into the race officially: In 1983, they ran another marathon so fast they made the qualifying time for Boston the following year.

Then somebody said, ``Hey, Dick, why not a triathlon?''

How's a guy who never learned to swim and hadn't ridden a bike since he was six going to haul his 110-pound kid through a triathlon? Still, Dick tried.

Now they've done 212 triathlons, including four grueling 15-hour Ironmans in Hawaii. It must be a buzzkill to be a 25-year-old stud being passed by an old guy towing a grow n man in a dinghy, dont you think?

Hey, Dick, why not see how you'd do on your own? ``No way,'' he says. Dick does it purely for ``the awesome feeling'' he gets seeing Rick with a cantaloupe smile as they run, swim and ride together.

This year, at ages 65 and 43, Dick and Rick f inished their 24th Boston Marathon, in 5,083rd place out of more than 20,000 starters. Their best time'? Two hours, 40 minutes in 1992--only 35 minutes off the world record, which, in case you don't keep track of these things, happens to be held by a guy who was not pushing another man in a wheelchair at the time.

``No question about it,'' Rick types. ``My dad is the Father of the Century.''

And Dick got something else out of all this too. Two years ago, he had a mild heart attack during a race. Doctors found that one of his arteries was 95% clogged. ``If you hadn't been in such great shape,'' one doctor told him, ``you probably would've died 15 years ago.''

So, in a way, Dick and Rick saved each other's life.

Rick, who has his own apartment (he gets home care) and works in Boston, and Dick, retired from the military and living in Holland, Mass., always find ways to be together. They give speeches around the country and compete in some backbreaking race every weekend, including this Father's Day.

That night, Rick will buy his dad dinner, but the thing he really wants to give him is a gift he can never buy.

``The thing I'd most like,'' Rick types, ``is that my dad sit in the chair and I push him once.''

Because the Weather is So Beautiful

Autumn has come to southeastern NC. Finally. And today was a beautiful day for Mama and Shelby to enjoy the weather.

Of course, we also should tell you that being outside is one thing that Daddy and Shelby see eye to eye on.

Muppet Movie - The Rainbow Connection

The words were beautiful but there is just something about watching a puppet frog sing it in the woods that is so special.

Now, I just have to get a copy of the Muppet movie on DVD for Shelby.

I forget

if I am supposed to sleep when Shelby sleeps or do work then.... I am already a victim of "mother's amnesia."

Is the Grass Greener?

Suzanne recently showed the pictures of her beautiful boys in her last two birth announcements. She has five boys. There was a family in our parish growing up that had five boys and another with five girls. I always asked my mother which she thought would be more stressful, a house of only boys or girls.

Mom always answered the same. Boys.

I have three younger brothers.

I'm the only girl.

My husband and I decided immediately that we did not want to know the sex of our baby before she was born. I guess I should mention here that Jeff is one of four boys. No girls. So it was nothing short of miraculous to his family when he called to say he had become the Daddy to a GIRL. His mother told me I broke the mold and my "genes must be stronger."

The reaction from my family was also one of excitement. My youngest brother had demanded constantly that we find out the sex of the baby and went so far as to suggest to my parents that they contact my OB and have her email them the sex so I didn't have to know. My parents knew better than to try something so silly. My father told everyone after I called to say we had a daughter that he thought I had never let myself think I might have a baby girl. Maybe he's right, maybe I did that subconciously. But I honestly had no idea what I was having until I heard my husband yell, "It's a GIRL!" in the OR.

I wonder is the grass always greener? I wonder what it would be like to have a boy or a household of them like Suzanne and Rachel
. Actually I don't have to wonder that hard. I lived it. But I know it must be different to be the mother of so many. That's a lot of football and baseball games and impromptu wrestling matches in the den and forts and swords made out of sticks. And then I think, I only have one daughter, what about the family I knew growing up with five little girls? That's five sets of pigtails, five itchy Easter dresses, five senior proms, FIVE WEDDINGS!

My brother-in-law and sister-in-law have a little boy. When we said we wanted to have another baby in the next two years, they immediately seized on the idea we were "trying for a boy." When we looked at each other, shrugged and said, "not really, we'd be just as happy with another girl," they seemed a little perplexed. I mean, doesn't everyone want one of each? Sure we would like to have one of each at least! But children are gifts from God the Father himself. When we got pregnant with Shelby we wanted a baby. Any baby. We were beyond even asking for healthy. That's why we didn't find out the sex and why we won't find out the sex of any future babies. As badly as I wanted a sister, I thank God for giving me three healthy brothers. And I would love for Shelby to have someone to love the way I love them, brother or sister. No the grass isn't greener,on my side of the fence it's the same sweet Kentucky bluegrass it always was. And believe me, it is for you too.

Fishers of Men

If I had had a son, I would be a proud mother to have him become a priest. Maybe someday I will have a son and perhaps he will be a part of the priesthood. I am so blessed to have my daughter's Godfather be a priest and this video shows some of the reasons priests are such blessings to all Catholics.

Wondering....

how to start my newest writing project. Being a Catholic mother who works outside of the home has generated interest in writing possibly an article maybe something longer about mom's in my situation. I struggled with going back to work. I wanted nothing more than to stay home with my daughter. But as I've said before, no matter how we ran the numbers, we would be homeless if I did.

I have to wonder, how do other moms do it? I am reminded of a wonderful pediatrician who was a member of our parish growing up in Raleigh. She had three children and worked still as a doctor. Her healing hands were meant to not just be known by her children but by the children of others who she saw in her practice. Being a doctor was another vocation along with being a mother. So, if you know any moms who are Catholic and work outside of the home, send them over to my blog and I will see what I can do to get in touch with them.

Here We Are

Mama And Shelby

A Blessed Event

On September 30 Shelby Clare was baptized into the Catholic faith. She is now one of every 6 people blessed enough to belong to the family that is the Catholic church.

Because Someone Reminded Me How Much I Love These and This Song...

The Rainbow Connection

Written by Paul Williams and used by Kermit the Frog, of The Muppets, Jim Henson Productions

Why are there so many songs about rainbows
And what's on the other side?
Rainbows are visions, but only illusions,
And rainbows have nothing to hide.
So we've been told and some choose to believe it
I know they're wrong, wait and see.
Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection,
The lovers, the dreamers and me.

Who said that every wish would be heard and answered
when wished on the morning star?
Somebody thought of that
and someone believed it,
and look what it's done so far.
What's so amazing that keeps us stargazing?
And what do we think we might see?
Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection,
the lovers, the dreamers and me.

All of us under its spell,
we know that it's probably magic....
Have you been half asleep
and have you heard voices?
I've heard them calling my name.
Is this the sweet sound that calls the young sailors?
The voice might be one and the same.
I've heard it too many times to ignore it.
It's something that I'm supposed to be.
Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection,
the lovers, the dreamers and me.
La, la la, La, la la la, La Laa, la la, La, La la laaaaaaa

If you enjoy my blog

check out these great sites too and find out what Suzanne, Danielle, Rachel, and Holly are saying about faith, family and life in general.

"Our State Fair....

is a great stat fair, don't miss it, don't even be late! It's dollars to doughnuts at our state fair, the best state fair in our state!"

We traveled to Raleigh yesterday for the State Fair. Shelby didn't really get it, but come on, she's three months old. We enjoyed the food and exhibits (especially our favorite, the garden exhibit). We missed out on rides (none with a baby), most of the animals (as someone, who shall remain nameless but was not me or Shelby, claimed the smell made him sick), and the grist mill (because it was a little too loud for the baby's sensitive ears). But we still had a great time and are already planning our trip for next year.

Want to see how other kids prepare for the state fair, check out some award winning recipes from Danielle's kids...

Doing Better

We've had a couple of trying weeks as my mother-in-law stayed with us which, as everyone knows it is a trying time when any relatives stay with you for an extended period. But this last week we were in the process of going "back to normal" or as normal as life with a three-month-old can be.

Now the schedule is supposed to begin. I hate schedules. So, we'll see how this goes.