Boy, what a gift!

Image Courtesy of Tribune Media.

Yes, we are having a baby boy in September. I was surprised. But I would have been just as surprised if they had told me it was a girl. Jeff couldn't come with me to the ultrasound. I wasn't sure how to tell him at first. I should disclose here that we both thought we were having another girl (I guess when that's all you know...) and Jeff was looking forward to being out-numbered by "his girls." I know we both also had grandiose images in our minds of Shelby and her sister being best friends and doing everything together. As I was talking to the girl checking me out though, it hit me. Jeff has always said that if he had a boy, he would have to buy a boat. When I called him out in the parking lot, I told him I had good news: he could really start seriously shopping for a boat.

He was happy and that made me happy. I didn't realize I was tense until I I relaxed. Now, don't get me wrong, we were both happy to be having another child regardless, I just couldn't believe we actually knew something about this little person so definitive.

And...there was also the incident in the waiting area. While I was awaiting my ultrasound, another young woman was awaiting one as well. She was only about 19 or 20, unmarried, and probably just a little bit further along than I was. She brought with her her mother and two sisters in hopes they would be able to find out the sex of the baby. The four women were chatting loudly in the small area, so I inadvertantly found out that the baby's father was generally uninvolved and that he and this young woman wanted a girl (despite his lack of involvement, he still had preferences). They went back for their ultrasound and were back a short time later. The pregnant woman was crying. They didn't seem to be tears of joy. I worried for her baby. Then her mother came holding the pictures and showed them to a concerned nurse, saying , "it's a boy." The young woman was silently blowing her nose and cleaning her face. One of her sisters thanked her for allowing them to be a part of the ultrasound. Then her mother piped up again and said, "I don't care what he thinks, he is this little boy's father and he has a right to know. Maybe he'll leave for good, but who knows, I'm calling him." This grandmother made a difficult but correct decision to call the baby boy's father. I overheard her in her conversation say, "Anna (name changed to protect identity) is taking it pretty hard."

That floored me. She was so wrapped up in having a little girl and so sure that her baby's father would leave her if she didn't have one that she could not enjoy and was even upset by learning the news she was having a son. My son (although I wouldn't know that for a few more minutes) was in the middle of some kind of workout and I instinctively, protectively put my hand over him.

We were unsure if we would find out the sex of this baby for a few months before deciding that we would like to this time around. After seeing this exchange in the waiting room, I knew that for some women, it might really be necessary to know. The thought of this woman finding out the sex of her child in the delivery room made me shudder. Would she have rejected him outright? Would she not have been able to bond with him? Or would she have been so overwhelmed she would have forgotton all about wanting a baby girl this go round? And what about his father's reaction? At least now, she would be able to readjust her view of the future and chances of a positive delivery room outcome were possibly more.

A few weeks ago I saw this "Love is" comic and was immediately defensive because I have a daughter. But now I look at it and know that God's plan was for us to have Shelby first and this little guy now. Our son is further proof that "love is" in our lives forever.